Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Is your wife here with you?

This past weekend Micah and I went on the Regent College fall retreat with about 450 people from the Regent community: facutly, staff, students and their spouses and kids. It was a great opportunity to connect with the people here at Regent. However, I was not prepared for the fact that in every conversation that I had with a new person, within a few minutes I would be asked if my wife was here on the retreat with me? Under normal circumstances I am not asked this, since Micah is usually not with me in these contexts. But this time with Micah there with me, it was obvious that I am a father and then assumed that I would have a wife. I don't fault people for assuming this, but it made for many difficult conversations for me. I thought very seriously about going back home to avoid this, but I stuck it out. On balance, I am glad that I did because some good conversations with some great people emerged. And Micah had a great time with all the other kids. But it wasn't easy and I felt more alone than I have in quite a while. So, be careful not to make too many assumptions about people's situations. Life is a lot more complicated for many.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you felt as if you could have recorded yourself, to save your voice and emotions. And how difficult it must have been to be the one asking and then fumbling at some sort of caring response... while feeling incredibly shaken by your initial words.

And yet you stuck it out. It's as if you truly are embracing the darkness, waiting for that daylight to pierce through. Maybe not just embracing, but as Mendelt wrote - kicking the darkness.

You continue to be on our mind here in St.Catharines. Peace, strength, and wisdom to you.

SPot for Ralph and family